I Thought Working Hard Was Hard — Until I Started Feeling My Feelings and Being Present

I Thought Working Hard Was Hard — Until I Started Feeling My Feelings and Being Present

The hardest work you will ever do in your life is the internal work, the emotional work, the work of sitting with what you’ve avoided for years.

How emotional avoidance almost destroyed my life, and how presence rebuilt it from the inside out.

If you had asked me a few years ago what “hard work” was, I would have told you it meant hustling, grinding, sacrificing sleep, forcing discipline, and pushing away flow, excitement, and joy from the equation. Put your head down until the work is done.

I believed toughness meant suppressing every emotion that slowed me down. I thought feeling was weakness. I thought presence was useless, I mean, what kind of result can you expect from counting and measuring your breath? I thought silence was the simplest task, 30minutes of silence vs 3 hours of deep work. What could be harder?

But the real hardship began the day I finally stopped running, because nothing, and I mean nothing, has ever been harder than actually feeling my own feelings, forced to confront myself. And I am sure not being the only one.

Nothing has ever challenged me more than being fully present with myself without distraction, excuses, denial, or the comfortable numbness of “working hard." The funniest part is that the exercise consists of “Doing Nothing.” And I learned the truth the painful way:

The hardest work you will ever do in your life is the internal work, the emotional work, the work of sitting with what you’ve avoided for years.

The Day Productivity Stopped Being Enough

For years, I used productivity as a shield. A way to silence the emotional noise inside me. When I didn’t want to face my fears… I worked harder. When I was insecure… I buried myself in tasks. When I felt unworthy… I chased external achievements and tasks to feel powerful over procrastination.

Also, I thought, productivity and emotions are two different things, two opposite ways; either productivity or emotions.

I measured my value by my output because I was terrified of looking inward.

But the more I worked, the more I realized something was wrong: I was building (ups and downs), but I had no foundation.

I was growing everywhere except internally, and that cracks the soul.

One morning, I woke up and felt empty, not tired, empty. That quiet, heavy numbness that tells you your mind and body are no longer cooperating.

My system simply said: Stop. I had had enough. Whether now, later, or never, I needed to live. That was the beginning of my real transformation.

The Hardest Battle Is Not Outside, but It’s Inside

When I decided to stop avoiding my emotions, I thought I was choosing softness. I thought I was choosing healing. Peace. Light.

What I didn’t expect was war.

A war between the identity I had built and the one trying to emerge.

Feeling my emotions was harder than every business failure I’ve had.
Harder than financial problems.
Harder than loneliness.
Harder than public criticism.
Harder than reinventing my life from scratch.

Simply, because all these problems had their roots anchored in emotions; because emotions force you to meet each of them separately.
The self you buried.
The self you ignored.
The self you judged.
The self you were ashamed of.

Presence does not negotiate; it exposes. I wasn’t running from pain, but from the version of me who felt the pain.

Presence Taught Me What Real Power Is

When I finally started sitting with my emotions, I discovered something that shook me:

I had never really been present in my life.
I was living in my goals.
My fears.
My past.
My fantasies.
My insecurities.
My projections.

But presence? Never
Presence meant pausing.
Presence meant breathing.
Presence meant noticing what I usually ignore.
Presence meant understanding my reactions before acting on them.

At first, it felt like losing control. Then it became the greatest control I ever experienced.

The moment I felt the most powerful was breathing through my fantasies, insecurities, fears, anxiety, projections, and telling myself, “I am safe now, I am more important, I trust. I am not these wounds anymore.”

Because when you are present:

• You don’t argue with yourself.

• You don’t fight your emotions.

• You don’t react to your wounds.

• You don’t act out of fear.

• You don’t need external validation to feel stable

You move with clarity.
You decide with intention.
You speak with confidence.
You show up with power.

That is when I realized:

Presence is not passivity. Presence is dominance over yourself.
It is the ability to regulate, redirect, rebalance, and re-choose your reality.

I wish I could say I sat down, journaled, meditated, and suddenly everything made sense, but healing is messy.

Some days, I cried without knowing why. I felt the anger I had suppressed for years. I felt grief for the person I used to be. I felt hope for the person I was becoming.

And some days, I felt nothing at all. Healing didn’t make my life easier. It made me more capable of living it.

Presence Became My New Productivity Hack

When you are present, your productivity changes. It becomes intentional.
Focused.
Sharp.
Aligned.

Let me shock you: Procrastination, motivation, and focus are emotion-regulation, not time management. I shifted from “I can do it” to “Just do it, Nike” without any internal dialogue.

You don’t chase results — you create them effortlessly.
You don’t force energy — you direct it.
You don’t waste effort — you amplify it.

My output hasn’t just increased; it has matured.
My decisions aren’t frantic — they’re strategic.
My goals aren’t emotional band-aids — they are meaningful.
My discipline isn’t war — it’s alignment.

Working hard used to drain me; now it strengthens me.

Because I’m no longer working from emptiness. I’m working from presence.

So, I wrote my eBook, not as fluffy inspiration, but as a clear, raw, and practical guide. Inside, I lay out the exact illusions that held me hostage and how to destroy them.

If this post woke something inside you, the eBook will take you deeper.

Grab your copy here, and stop wasting years you’ll never get back.

How Feeling My Feelings Changed My Life

Emotionally:
I understand myself. I trust myself. I hear myself. I no longer need chaos to feel alive.

Mentally:
My mind is clearer. My attention is sharper. I don’t spiral into overthinking the way I used to.

Spiritually:
I feel connected. Grounded. I’m no longer floating outside my body, living in my head.

Financially:
Believe it or not, presence made me more resourceful, more decisive, and more powerful in business. Clarity makes money. Emotional regulation multiplies it.

Relationally:
I show up honestly. I speak from truth, not fear. I connect without pretending.

In every area of life, presence was the missing foundation.

The Truth Most People Avoid

Most people think their problem is laziness, lack of motivation, poor discipline, bad habits, or procrastination.

Most people are emotionally overwhelmed, disconnected from themselves, and drowning in unprocessed feelings.

You can’t build a powerful life on emotional avoidance.

If You’re Reading This, Here Is My Message to You

You don’t have to work harder. You have to feel deep, be more present with yourself, listen to the emotions you silence, to confront the thoughts you avoid. You have to stop outsourcing your inner work to “productivity.”

If you want real personal power…
If you want real self-awareness…
If you want real emotional dominance…
If you want real transformation…

Could you start with presence?

Because everything changes when you finally stop running from yourself.

Photo by Bradley Dunn on Unsplash

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